福

listening to: xx - xx intro (sick beats!) and then mariah carey - almost home (ost for oz - because it's just too apt for me :()
tummy: had my fix of chee cheong fun! (had to settle for mediocre one though)
state: sleepy but need to put all these down. super happy cos i'm packing for home :) heading home right after night shift! tee hee

was supposed to blog about many things yesterday but i was practically a dead walrus on bed the time i got back after meeting up for coffee w cccc. which was a good meet-up :) we are the kind of friends that we can survive not talking to each other for a long time but when we do meet up finally, convos just never stopppppppp. god. i was getting dizzy from all *my* yakkings.

anyways.... i have a few things i need to address.

a matter of lines and perseverance
1. am taking all the babies into my own hands for line setting. just because i want and need to get all the practices i can have. it's uber upsetting. at times i feel like just crying.... setting them lines. sigh. frustrating much. the sheer RAWRRRRNESS when you see back flow but line bunks the hell out. :( i was so upset the other day cos i had a rather big vein but still it bunked. was pretty pissed at myself after that. but lucky nicko helped me and pushed me on - so i managed to set one nicely at the end of the day, literally. was so pleased. repeat cycle again and i find myself at the end of the b|braun feeling like....... just killing myself setting these lines. sigh. i just need to master this ART of line setting. still groping around for the holy grail. as to howwwwwwwww.

my very own alter ego ( w bigger and very beautiful eyes lol)
2. there's a new girl and observing the way that she talks / swears / get mad / expresses herself / her get angry makes me feel like i have finally..... LIKE FINALLY.... met my EQUAL, my alter ego. i hve not in my life seen anyone so... angry / fierce / so pissed at the smallest thing / so petty  / so rude at times / mean too / and just so negative at times that resemble myself so much. which is a good thing.. because i won't say i like all of those qualities that much. but it's so me. so i need to change. i need to keep all these emotions in check and not just BLAH them out like that. that's a matter of maturity. professionalism. and knowing how to keep one's cool. it's annoying to be so angry and negative at everything. it is. (though i'd like to think it's cool to be so outspoken but it's not. but it's oky if one's loud to spread love and happiness around) (fyi there's afghan and chinese blood running in her)

heart strings
3. it was my first time i felt my heart dropped in my stomach when a mom didn't feel like telling the reason why she's reluctant to room in w her baby. i was trying my best to explain to her the pros - but she just had this sweet smile on her harmless young burmese face.. shaking her head. i invited her to sit down to close the gap. and she opened up and confided in fluent malay that ... her concerns are the bills. that's when my heart dropped. i mean. how could i not thought of that. i tried to keep my cool and also to keep my tears in. tried to find out if there's anyway we could help her and to see how bad the damage would be. i only had one thing in mind right after that. to help her pay her bills.

if not part of it.

sometimes we're so lucky we forgot. like the chinese saying 生在福中不知福  'living in 幸福 blessings, but ignorant of it'