fooolerish.

hi. there are times that my emotion resemblesa pendulum swing. a sec it was this another sec it was the other extreme. but on most time (lucky me) i am contented. and i rmbr your love for me.

pinky's torn edge (aka my favoritest corner) is fixed. sewn back. the idea didn't even cross my mind - that it is something that can be repaired. now w it's reconstructed edge, i like it even better. more crunch. :)

//

just finished watching a  jap film, i have strong reasons to have doubt that it has moe than a 6.5 rating.. but nevertheless. it was enough to make me tear and miss my panda badly enough. le sigh.

WHY OH WHY does life has to be like this?

i saw on instagrams - of blonde youngsters who fled to the oceans and waves, partner in arms, living the life. or not? is it ignorance or courage?

10 years.

it has to be done.

Some alone time

Hi. I'm supposed to be getting aome shut eye or perhaps some reading. But I'm just chilling by myself. Just some time for myself. Not rushing to go home or driving or squeezing the lil time I have w le panda or anyone.

I feel I'm truly w myself now. And no one else.

How have I been? The same. 

I haven't been thinking much. Or reading much since I last fin the little price. Its like attempting to keep all the goodness and purity of the book in me.

I have made a few mistakes here and there. But Hey there are there for us to learn. 

I also feel like time is so precious that time off from work feela like they are stolen. If I haven't say this already. It is. Esply w le panda.

Le panda is now resting at home after his acl recon. And I miss him so. Sometimes im concerned w just how much I love him. At the same time, it scares me how much love I'm capable of giving and am giving to him.

So. Here's an abrupt end. I feel like reading instead of writing. Till then .

Booooooo

I swear my back is gonna break on me. Day 4 and 2 more days to go. Le sigh. Long stretch of working day: ( and I miss my panda so much. So. So tired. Mentally exhausted and physically sore.

//

It is official. I found my evil twin. She lives in a form of a cute boyish girl. Though way more innocent n pure than me, god-believing and fearing. Quick book reader. Same same cheapskate: D loves everything quaint and most of the time, unconventional. Beagle lovers.

I wish her all the bestest in her lurveeeee life! Kekeke

//

My back.....  this is what a day of bedside wound debridement, cvl and cast readjustment do to u. Not even getting any appreciation in return: ( fml

a thursday night.

hi.

i'm alone in banland. where i can't help but feel.... awfully... lonely. and i think, it's me. ppl of my batch who came over here much later than me have cliques and new bffs... and i'm still having dindin of mixed rice at the same stall since forever, and goes home to showers and internet and nothings... not that i'm dying for a social life here (too tired for that)... but i could do w someone to talk to sometimes. or just someone to ... like k puts it.. hang. to share a pipping hot pizza and then i can lie down on my belly and just read.

it's wayyyyy past my bedtime as i usually doze off before 10. heck, i was struggling to rmbr how i even got to bed last night (fell asleep reading at the lounge area) and found myself in bed w lights off (kudos at least the lights are off this time!) but really, nothing came to mind. it's still a mystery. tonight. it's just me. asos. pinkpau's instagrams. and sa dingding. imean. i have not and still not come across any world/folk music as amazing as hers. just crazy good stuff.

//

i'm working my weekdays off for off days / weekends to be w my panda. am i crazy or something/ i'm not even sure if i'm in love or in obsession w him anymore. it's like i just can't get enough of him. in terms of spending time w him. i just can't. i wonder if it's catching up w the 10month lapse ... but if there's something that i could do... that would be spending the rest of my life w him. *sobs*

also. lately. playing w the idea of having a orphanage. it's crazy commitment. but it's definitely something.

but before that. reality comes first. money comes first for now.