In motion

Life is if u don't decide... U'll be somehow be pushed around, from the left, right front, side ways, back till u reach somewhere ..  or not.

A few more hours till sending le panda off to malacca for his posting. My heart is heavy as ever. Can't help bt feels like a year ago.. in his room. Preping him off for moscow. One last time. But this time Its not moscow. Not a year. Not the same distance though. Same same but different in so many ways. So many unknown.

I wish time could just stop so I could just hold him n not let him go.: (

Just the thought of not having him around whenever I wanna see him or knowing he will be here crushes me. But then again.. life is about motion. And changes. All these eventually moulding characters. I hope le panda will be moulded into a better man.

Two years. And then what? Life is not how we planned it but how we verve our ways around it and make the best out of it.

Somehow we think that this is a blessing in disguise. Here's to the best for my panda. Though we r into our fifth year and counting.. I honestly feel that my love for him is growing deeper and deeper.

X bunny

helpless but not hopeless.

hi blog. i am so broke. :( what did i do....

i am so broken now too. what can i do... i can't.. i don't have the power to. it's one thing to just shrug it off and say it's okay to not have it our way.. but when reality hits. it fucking hurts.

what do we do now.

:(

Catching fire!

Hiiiiii! I had a great night yesterday... mostly because it was an early celebration for le bunny for turning a year older. Keke

Was lucky to secure sushi bar seats at my fav place and had the ability to order What I want. I was nicely reminded of just whyyyyy I love jap food at the very first place when I sank my teeth into that unagi roll. Yes.

And then the cute panda tried to surprise me with a movie thereafter..  yes it is considered a surprise cos we don't do these things... surprises. But I must admit it was a good attempt. Though it didn't materialize into a surprise at the end... hahaha... but the movie was a great way to follow through after the dinner. Ideas and hope of revolution. And to think that all they bother was to censor the kissing scenes! Blasphemy!

We ended the night with a drive through kl.. around klcc to be exact. It stilk and always feels like... home. Like I truly belong here. Also! A brand spanking new h&m opened at avenue k finally! Wheeeee can't wait to check it out tmrw!

Why is my leaves passing so so quickly....:  ((

Le (strive for) perfect life

Been lagging behind sleep these days due to my night shifts which is to continue.. I guess I just hit a record of my own.. almost a 15 hr straight knock off since 4pm yesterday.

Met up w Jocey finally! And am sooooo happy for her she found her own fatty hahaahaahh! Now I can't wait to be zi mui / bridesmaid lol. Sigh. So happy.: '))

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Lately I had a crazy idea. My cute happy life. To have a ice cream shop at klcc, stay at my unit just a block away, have my own lunches at the Beautiful park, shop at avenue k for hnm. My life would be perfect. Or so Id like to think.

Humans.

I'm back! Had a terrible guilt trip and heart tugging start for Sunday. But things alwats turned out fine. I kept Telling myself 'don't overthink it!' Just to try to let it sink in that sometimes we don't have to struggle and defy the smallest of things, or decisions.

Anyways. Glad that I managed to spend the day w le seal. While we are the rather atas departmental store in pavivi the ugly truth that is reality dawned on me. That it is such a selfish act of greed how lavish spendings are justified on the good things in life while some are just scrapping by, barely with the bare essentials. Branded outfits for kids... seriously?

Not to say I'm exactly guilt free when it comes to shopping but What I mean is really expensive goods... justifiable?

Mummy bunny was just Telling me about this maid from cambodia.. she was Going home soon. And we were giving her a bunch of stuffs that we no longer need or want. She insisted on bringing soaps back even ! Cos she said ppl back there are so poor that they don't even have soap or shampoo!: O they use clothes washing powder...: O shocking!

I was reading the other day and picked this up: that when in adversity only ppl will grow and change for the better. Hardly when in comfort and luxury. True. Esply apt in our lives these days. More than enough food, monstrous tvs as flat as paper and of cos them iphones. Everything is at out fingertips. But r we truly maximising their full potential? And how are we helping others?

That's all. I just felt he need to express that Its sad to know humanity has come to this these days.

reaching zen...

Hi blog. Its been some long long time since i last ranted  blogged here. Not that i've any less to express, just that i have much less the time. time after work is SO FUCKING PRECIOUS money can't buy. nope.

the past week was a routine of getting up early, at work, getting barked at, ward work, trying to finish tonnes of paper work before 6, sometimes dinner sometimes not, shower (finally! aaaaaah my happiest time of the day) and then dozing off w my hair dripping wet, waking up at 2/3am turn of lights brush teeth and procced to zzzz which is only barely, since in sleep i was worried about work. so one day i woke up and got ready to work forgetting to wear something reallllllly important and 'supportive' lol epic moment of my life. i guess that's the only time i was ever thankful that i'm not born voluptuous.

moving on... i'm now back in le panda sanctuary. it's been a year already. it's my month! november. birthday falls on a weekend so i took the weekend off. but reflecting on a year back, it gave me the shivers. i'm hitting 26. i'm losing count myself. i still fell as clueless as to what i want to be in the future. but at least, i know what i DON'T wanna be. i guess that narrow things down as well.

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you know.. there are a lot of things that could be in our control ,just as there are as many things that aren't.

people you once know moves on and live their lives, they are the same people and yet we no longer know them. you have no idea as to their lifestyles, their decisions, their thinkings. and that's one of the scary things in life. If and only if you let them be anws. And if they still matter.

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i'm making it a point to 1. talk negnatively less

nothing new in my life since i last penned here - except that my hair is in desperate need of trimming.

i need to read more. be more happy. life is after all, to be happy at the end of the day. nothing else truly matters after all.

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