missing moscow.

they say misery is baaaaaaaaaaaaaad. i agree. but there are things one need to pour out and it's not necessarily that depressing. maybe not.

you know what missing something really does to you? it's like this crazy ambition that one has but can never ever be fulfilled. think of a deceased love one. such is life. what cruel pranks they throw at us.

but again. we're only minions.

so... as i was saying. i really missed moscow. i didn't know i'd come to this, but i am really missing it by the tonnesss. never thought i'd say this or it'd come to this. or at least this degree.

i'm missing the small walkways that i was so familiar with. in frunzenskaya. after tuitions. the ones that i'd take to go the apt 111. le sigh. the neighbourhood mall. the riv gosh inside that always provided some calmness. and good deals fml. the bus ride from universitet! speaking of which, i miss the beautiful university. esply the route over the moskva river! love it! overlooking the city and the stadium :) and the lush green the city's enveloped in. i also miss some of the metro stations. the usual ones. but now so many popped up in my head. i'm missing all of the beautiful ones. i also miss tverskaya. the place where me and le panda always have our time together. sushi times. time filled w so much love and laughter. LOVE. our usual sushi joint near bolshoi. yaposha. their fried sushi roll. oh god. i absolutely miss all the time we spent there. as we always had special occasions spent there. or not. :) i miss being w le panda in foreign places. it gives a solitude feeling that we are both in it together and we'll come out safely and surely. i miss the malls. because i'm so familiar w them. and i didn't have to converse w anyone other than my inner self fml. metropolis and atrium. oh god. thank goodness H&M is here. i must thank the gods up there if there were any. H&M here is god sent. it totally brought europe over. it feels like being in europe when one's in it. and i can't be more thankful. back to moscow. i also miss that stretch of road from the sportiv monastry all the way to christ the savior. you can hop on to the bus and take it all in. i've always loved that route. esply when traffic's much quieter. the park, memories w sararah. that light blue very chic cafe. that i wish so much i could afford a second visit if not more. that stretch of road dotted w our uni's depts. they actually look very nice indeed. this nostalgia for this street cos stem from the earlier days back in second year when i used to play volleyball, to classes, and then the yearly trip to other cities, and meeting up w the sportiv bunch near sportiv. yes those were exciting times when we all felt like brothers and sisters from the same uni :) i LOVED the annual intervarsity sports event. always bringing us together and showing us different things. i also missed the boy's place. apt 111. held a very special place in my heart. where really special people hung together. and special moments back there. i wished i knew le panda's buddies and friends way earlier. ppl like charsiewpao too. i wish. i miss my hostel too. that familiar path walking 'home' for so many years. i can remember everything so clearly. everything. my room. our shared toilet and corridor. how life was when one's  student and practically and i can safely say, carefree! where i could cook my life away and live life worry-free. life was good and i didn't know it. friends that i could pop over and knew my brothers will be there. buddies like hgc and aty. bros for life :)

i miss everything.

and i'm letting all the emotions get to me.