a thursday night.

hi.

i'm alone in banland. where i can't help but feel.... awfully... lonely. and i think, it's me. ppl of my batch who came over here much later than me have cliques and new bffs... and i'm still having dindin of mixed rice at the same stall since forever, and goes home to showers and internet and nothings... not that i'm dying for a social life here (too tired for that)... but i could do w someone to talk to sometimes. or just someone to ... like k puts it.. hang. to share a pipping hot pizza and then i can lie down on my belly and just read.

it's wayyyyy past my bedtime as i usually doze off before 10. heck, i was struggling to rmbr how i even got to bed last night (fell asleep reading at the lounge area) and found myself in bed w lights off (kudos at least the lights are off this time!) but really, nothing came to mind. it's still a mystery. tonight. it's just me. asos. pinkpau's instagrams. and sa dingding. imean. i have not and still not come across any world/folk music as amazing as hers. just crazy good stuff.

//

i'm working my weekdays off for off days / weekends to be w my panda. am i crazy or something/ i'm not even sure if i'm in love or in obsession w him anymore. it's like i just can't get enough of him. in terms of spending time w him. i just can't. i wonder if it's catching up w the 10month lapse ... but if there's something that i could do... that would be spending the rest of my life w him. *sobs*

also. lately. playing w the idea of having a orphanage. it's crazy commitment. but it's definitely something.

but before that. reality comes first. money comes first for now.