hi blog. i almost forgot i have this hole that i used to run to. i simply didn't have the time. today's my happiest day of the week. if i could, i would be jumping up and down and throwing my arms up and smiling so wide i look ridiculous and cray cray! that's how happy i am. to be away from the crazy system that ortho is. i absolutely hated the structure they are so proud of there. the mos are terribly nice ppl but seriously whats up w the attitude w them (ortho) surgeons? i mean of cos not ALL of them are aholes but whoa. some of them behave like they are above god. to illustrate my point. and most of the time, they're not even surgeons yet! dafuq!

anyways. enough w ortho. i dont want to waste any time out of the ward // ot dwelling too much on it. it's definitely not my fav dept or subject.


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i'm as u guessed it, at the panda sanctuary. had a wonderful birthday lunchdate w mummypanda bcos she deserves it! i can't buy her enough lunches to make it up how much she accommodated me and treated me like one of the family. i'm such a lucky bunny. anyways... i'm pretty saddened by the idea that she won't be around for pretty much the whole month for panda's graduation. it's a bitter sweet thing. to not have her and panda around / in touch , but to finally have them back again after that 1 month. sigh. final hurdle. sometimes, it scares me that i have thoughts that i'll never see le panda again. i know it's a crazy thought, but who knows. many things are better left unsaid. things like this. if i were to leave this world, i'd regret it for not having enough time to love him and my mom and other loved ones more. to have more time w them. and to see my kids.

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sometimes it scares me to know that i depend on a job that i dont like too much for providing everything that i need in life.

i need to fly.

i need to shut the fuck up.